Newly booked La Crosse County Jail inmate Jeremy Kane, 33, pressed his jail cell intercom button and told jailers last week he needed to speak to someone because of a stomach ache.

Nausea from the jail food? Nope.

A queasy stomach from the impact of his pending criminal charges? Not at all.

Kane’s stomach hurt because he swallowed the battery from the cordless phone in the booking area, according to his criminal complaint.

Jailers verified the battery was indeed missing. Kane was taken to the hospital, where doctors located the battery inside his stomach.

No word on how it was removed.

Maybe we don’t want to know.

Kane’s stunt earned him a criminal charge of criminal damage to property, punishable by a $10,000 fine and nine months in jail.

He also was charged Monday with burglary for breaking into a town of Shelby, Wis., on Aug. 18 and three counts of possession of an illegally obtained prescription after cops found prescription drugs on him.